what do you do when you're in love with someone you're not allowed to/supposed to be in love with? is there anyway around it? should i just accept it? should i move on?

So, I'm friends with this group of guys. Especially one of them who has declared me his BFF, but we also have sex, etc. This group of guys has the worst luck with women, forever gravitating towards these insecure, psychotic, damaged bitches. When they start dating these girls they pretty much have to cut me out of their life, because the girls are so insecure and dramatic that my presence and friendship is the biggest threat since nuclear bombs. And on top of it all, I care about the one that's my BFF. He always complains about how he gets these drugged up, knife wielding, lunatics and I just want to shake him and say "WHAT THE FUCK AM I??!!" I've accidentally ruined enough of his friendships just by existing that I should merit something, but no. I get my clothes stolen, my gas used up, and all the tidbits of what he's going to do the next time he fucks someone other than me. Not to sound blatantly childish and immature, but...it fucking sucks.

Once, early on, I had asked her why she did not allow me to kiss her. We were in bed though it was well past midday. I was sitting up, with my head resting against the headboard. I was looking at the ceiling and counting the cracks and for each one I was thinking of something I wished I had done when I had the chance. She was lying beside me but far enough away not to touch, perfectly straight with her hands stretched in front of her. I looked down from the ceiling and I asked her and she stretched out her hands a little further, so that they almost touched me. But she was not interested in how close I was, she threaded her fingers together and looked down at them. She blinked once, slowly, and the sun streamed in from the window behind her and illuminated a stream of dust in the air. For each dust particle I could think of one more thing I wished I had done when I had the chance.

She looked down at her hands and told me that nothing was easy. She asked me if it bothered me. It was unusual for her to think about things like that. I shook my head and said no, not particularly. I was just curious, I said. She traced the inside of her wrist with one finger and told me that nothing was simple.

She looked up at me and asked me to try to kiss her. Everything seemed to be happening so slowly on that afternoon, and everything had a strange haze of golden light over it. Of course it was the sunlight. But then it wasn’t. It was the two of us and the cracks in the ceiling. There was no clock in that room and yet I could hear something ticking, slowly, like an old grandfather clock. I didn’t know what anything meant.

I'm looking for a poem that was posted here awhile back; its about birthstones and the months they belong to. If anyone could point me in the general direction of it that would be fabulous!!

 How many of you roleplay? Like..be it online or other wise, because I want to make some new role play buddies...I have a pirate and X/men role play going on right now and i just kinda wanted someone else to roleplay/talk to while I wait for my other friend to post...PM for an add on hotmail/yahoo i suppose...I just want someone to RP with...

i don't know how to live with regret or unrequitted love anymore. it's too hard.
"i wish it could have just worked out."
me too.
more than anything.
it's been almost four months
and i still think about you every single hour
of every single day
and i still miss you
and i still love you
and i want to believe i've accepted that we'll never be together again
but it sure as hell doesn't feel like it
and i'm sorry every day
and i want to go back and change everything
and it hurts so bad
and i don't know what to do.

So tonight I decided to just not go to sleep (it happens randomly) and so I watched Stardust, took a shower, set my hair in curlers, and sat down to do my nails. Between taking off my previous nail polish and putting on cuticle oil, the radio station I listen to (kAMP) had one of those commercials that's like, "Call now to spend New Years Eve in Six Flags Magic Mountain! Brought to you by Coke and AMP radio" blah blah blah. So of course, I think "Why not?" and dial in. It rings once. It rings again. Then someone picks up, and a female voice says "Congratulations! You won!" And I'm just like, "Whaaa?" So I give her my info, and she asks for my SSN, and I say "Yeah, my mom would kill me if I gave out my Social over the phone in the middle of the night" so I give her my mom's cell number, and she says they'll call my mom on Monday to get it from her.
I WON! A pair of tickets to Six Flags!!!
Problem: I don't like Six Flags. I'm beyond terrified of roller coasters. And I already have plans with my aunt and uncle for New Years. Maybe they'll come with! The other ticket can be for one of them, and then we'll only have to buy one.
OMGOMGOMG!!!
I've never won anything like this before! Actually, I don't think I've ever won anything...ever :/
BUT I HAVE NOWWWW!!!!
Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot!
Staying up until 5:30 actually paid off!!! :D

hey my names heather and im 22 yrs old and i live with my mom in a apartment in bullhead city arizona =D heres my room =D

( my room )

Hello everyone ♥
My name is Johanna and I am a 19 years-old girl from Munich, Germany.
I love a japanese band called Kanjani8. They've sneaked into every corner of my room. Not in the creepy, over-the-top way though ♥
And this would be my room:


Welcome to my room! ♥

( lots of mint green & white ahead )

Hi all!
I'm so glad I found this community :)

Well anyways, I plan on redecorating my room to look more antique-ey,goth/victorian :)

I would like to stick with blacks off whites and teals/turqouise colors, BUT I cannot paint my walls due to me living in an apartment.

I can put shelving up though :)


So any good ideas or refrences you can show me? And good places to go to get little nick naks? (Besides the local antique store ;p)

I will be going to a local craft/fabric store called hobby lobby as the have amazing fabric there for curtains :)

Any help would be appreciated!

P.S.-if this is too long, lemme know and I'll attempt to make a cut :)

<3<3<3

People talk about theater or drama in reference to everyday experience but when did the curtains ever part to reveal you sitting there next to me in our old BMW while crossing the bridge over the Stör on a clear winter afternoon with a sky like blue glass scratched as you said from all the various jet trails you turning your head to the right looking off towards the western horizon across all those flat green acres of northern Germany me glancing over at you without you being aware of it seeing you sitting there content in the warm sunlight coming through the windshield absorbed in your own personal thoughts of god knows what & then the attendant cascade of psyche-encompassing emotions that suddenly engulfed me as I caught a glimpse of the tiny set of wrinkles at the corner of your eye immediately remembering how seriously you took your fortieth & most recent birthday then me being catapulted into that crushing orbit of conceptual thinking dealing with time & age & destiny & what it means to be alive & what it means to be in love & how we all deal with getting old & the passing of time & the laying aside of certain dreams & desires in favor of various creature comforts & a predictable easiness into which we all are slipping deeper & deeper from day to day ultimately precluding even the remotest possibility of any manifestation of true happiness or satisfaction & then us coming down off of the bridge & onto the autobahn me putting the gas pedal calmly & purposely to the floor leaving what I had been thinking about behind us like the clouds of blue exhaust as we accelerated in a mechanical rush of pure power & motion the tachometer & the speedometer both rising steadily the car hurtling forward on the smooth asphalt temporarily eclipsing all thoughts of time & the passing thereof & cleanly bringing to an end the inner spectacle of today’s particular drama in a manner so thorough & final that it’s bordering on the surgical.

 

My lj friend posted this picture & I love it. It made me think. I'm not sure why.

Do you have any interesting pictures? It can be anything.
Anything that makes you feel something.
Share them please! :)

I. Heather
II. twenty
III. Ware, MA
IV. cellphone, cigarettes, camera, chapstick, keys



( take a peek! )

ONE// Jessi
TWO// Twenty-one
THREE// At the moment I'm in Texas visiting family but I live in Indiana
FOUR// Cell phone, wallet, iTouch, my inhaler, keys
FIVE// 

 I don't PMS badly. I don't get awful cramps or migraines, and I should consider myself lucky, because my mother did. I don't feel bloated and I'm not tired or lethargic.

I do get awfully depressed.

And knowing I'm PMS-ing sucks, because it makes me feel like my feelings are invalid. Like I don't have a right to be sad, because I know it's just my hormones talking.
Nothing is wrong, and I shouldn't be upset.
So I guess I'm not.

what do you do when you feel just plainly awfully lonely?

My name is Victoria. I am a transfer student, originally from Alabama but I moved to a school in Northeast Georgia. This is the first time I lived on campus, and so the pictures are from the first few days I was there. The room was moved about 3 times since then but I have no pictures. :[ It looks pretty plain but I was sharing a room with someone so I kept a lot of stuff at home. Next semester I will be here again posting new pictures of my own room and (so far) my own bathroom.

( My Dorm Room )

I also have a question/request. I was wanting to do my poloroids and some fun pictures I found online, hung up with clothespins. It's a dumb question but how do I keep the clothes pins from scrunching together if the string curves down? (I hope someone understands what I am saying.) I was also wanting to see people post pictures if they have the photo-clothespin in their room. Thanks in advance! :]

these are the photos that i've compiled into 2 collages from a makeover + photoshoot my mum bought me for my birthday in august (:
there were 50 photos in 2 outfits but i've picked my favourites and put them here. Just thought i ought to post in 2am more.






anyone else gone for makeovers&photoshoots before? (:

the ride home is filled with silence. the kind of silence where you don't even realize it's there, because your head is this blurring mix of thoughts and it's like that night you watched skins and thought sid was just you with a bad british accent. you lay in the back seat and watch the colors and lights swirl past until you have to squint your eyes, and your heart starts playing a melody in your head over and over until it sounds familiar, like something you've heard all your life. it takes you all night, watching the city and tasting the nightlife through the crack in the fogged windows, to realize it's your heartbeat.